What is Family and Systemic Therapy?

Family and Systemic Therapy is an approach that looks to understand the patterns of interaction in close relationships and families.

Intimate, close, and family/whānau relationships develop tensions and stuck dynamics due to many factors. Systemic therapy aims to lessen these tensions by encouraging family/whānau members and loved ones to empathise with each other, understand each other’s experiences and views, build on strengths and make useful changes in their relationships and lives.

A family and systemic therapist will engage with all members of family/whānau who can be present, and focus on the interactions of the family members, while also considering the situation and context of the family/whānau system and their broader community.

Common problems that a therapist will work with include stressful and traumatic life events such as; separation, divorce, blended family/whānau, illness or death, work and school related problems, a member with mental health disorders such as ADHD, addictions or depression, family differences, and any transitional issues of a family/whānau that have caused hurt and upset.

Family Therapy aims to be:

Inclusive and considerate of the needs of each member of the family/whānau and/or other key relationships (systems) in people’s lives. It:

• Recognises and builds on peoples’ strengths and relational resources.

• Works ‘in partnership with’ family/whānau and others, not ‘doing therapy to them’.

• Is sensitive to diverse family/whānau forms and relationships, beliefs and cultures.

• Enables people to talk, together or individually, often about difficult or distressing issues, in ways that respect their experiences, invite engagement and support recovery.

Sourced from: Association for Family Therapy & Systemic Practice UK

Why it matters

Family and Systemic Therapy provides family/whanau the opportunity to have conversations they otherwise wouldn’t have.

Relationships within family/whānau are generally the most intense, and most important, that people have in their lives.  Each family/whānau group we belong to has rules, beliefs, structures, cultural practices, expectations, hopes, dreams, and patterns of interaction, all played out on a stage of powerful emotional bonds. That the scenes played out are sometimes hurtful, puzzling, repetitive, and conflictual is not surprising. Perhaps what is surprising is our capacity (individually and collectively) to keep playing out the same scenes, dancing the same dance, whilst wishing for a different outcome.

Most family/whānau groups, once they acknowledge they have interactions that are not satisfying, respond very well to the opportunity to have a facilitated conversation that explores their various perspectives on what goes on that keeps them stuck and unhappy.

The advantages of family therapy

Family and Systemic Therapy is critical for the health of many relationships, benefiting social groups, and individuals of any age. Advantages include:

• Stronger relationships.

• Family/whānau members have a better understanding of each other and how the family/whānau system operates.

• An ability to work with each other to resolve conflict.

• They experience an understanding of a way forward out of misunderstanding, hurt, conflict, resentment.